A beautiful woman in our community asked me, “how do you deal with a major lifestyle change?”
If you have come out of a long relationship, starting a new job in a new industry, move to a different town, lose a loved one. You are currently going through a major lifestyle change.
It can really take it’s toll on you. It can feel like there are so many questions left unanswered. You have no idea how to put one foot in front of the other. Trust me, I know. I have been there a few times. It’s a challenge, but you can overcome it.
I remember the day my mum sat me down and explained to me, our family home had to be sold because of my parents divorce. Here is this 17 year old girl in a house that sat on 6 acres, running through a thousand memories. Knowing no more would be created in that very space.
We went from a huge house on a heap of land, to a tiny house with a yard so small you could hear the neighbours talking about how shit the traffic was that day. From a yard with a creek, a motorbike track, as dam and 2 cows. To a yard that had a patch of grass we could just fit a trampoline on. We never had to be conscious of the noise we made, the things we did on our family property. In suburbia it was so different. It took a long time to accept it.
1: Find the gratitude in every situation.
If you have read my eBook, “It’s Okay To Be Selfish.” there is a whole chapter on gratitude. To put it in short, I highly recommend sitting down with a pen and paper and writing down a list of all the things you are grateful for in your current situation. For me, it was things like; it was an extremely short walk to the shops, it was easier for me to get a job without a licence, we could have broadband! (yeah, we were THAT out in the sticks) these are just to name a few. If you are going through a breakup, it could be you can wear a certain piece of clothing your ex hated. Or go places without worrying what they would say. You can add one thing you are grateful for to that list everyday. Place it somewhere you can see it, like your fridge or on your wall near your bed. It will remind you every day to look at the bright side of life.
2: Think of it as an experience, rather than a regret.
If you are ever questioning yourself, “Where did I go wrong? Was this a good idea? Am I ever going to find love again? What if I can’t live without my family close by?” Think about the experience. Better questions to ask yourself would be; “What did I learn from that relationship? What did my home town teach me that I can implement in this new town. What can I learn about this new place? What did that person teach me?” Or, “What did that job teach me and what I can use from that experience for my new career?”
3: Remind yourself of your goals.
This one was a huge one for me and still is. Every time my life shifts in a huge way, I remind myself of my purpose. Again, questions to ask yourself are; “What do I want out of this life? What can I do today to get me a step closer to that life? How can I deal with this situation quickly and effectively to move forward.” Your life with unfold from the questions you ask yourself. Questions like; “Why is this happening? Is this really it for me?” are not going to help you to continue to grow.
4: Before accepting or letting go, feel the emotions.
You need to give yourself the time to breathe. Be upset, throw a hissy fit. Scream to the world, punch a punching bag. Safely release the emotions you need to release. You will never 100% move forward if you can’t let go. What’s done is done. Don’t suppress the emotions because it will make you feel even worse. It will also take longer to move forward from the situation.
5: Make a plan.
Now that you have asked yourself the right questions, felt and let go of your emotions, found the gratitude in the situation; it is time to take action. Again, write out a list of all the things you need to do to move forward. You might need to find a job if you have moved states, or a new home if you lived with your ex, buy new clothes for this new job, deal with the process of losing a loved one. Write it down, and get what you need to do, done. No one will do it for you. You are in control of your life. You will need to follow through on the actions to create the life you dream of after the situation has passed or settled down. Believe yourself when you say you can do this. You can! You have survived all of your challenges up until this point. You are unstoppable.
If you feel like this resonated with you, please feel free to share it around or comment below about your experience with your major lifestyle change! I would love to hear how you dealt with it!
Love and hi fives.